If you’ve been following my progress since I started Seed to Source, you might have noticed my recent rebrand to A Gentler Pace. I wanted to share with you how this unfolded.
I’ve been here before. I’ve gone down a road until I can go no further. Around 15 years ago I had a website called the Whole Self whose premise was not dissimilar to the Essence Map, which still remains at the heart of everything I do. Then, as now, I reached a dead end. I hit a brick wall and couldn’t work out how to go around it. I thought it was all over. So, I burned everything. Literally and figuratively.
I was a big believer in burning bridges. Purging what had gone before. It always felt as if I had to go back to the very foundations and begin again.
Coming across this quote: may the bridges I burn light the way, (attributed to Dylan McKay’s character in Beverly Hills 90210), made me think of my actions more as illumination than destruction.
Somewhere along the way and, after the burning of many bridges, I found myself revisiting old ground. The concepts of the Whole Self followed me. They evolved, eventually becoming the Essence Map, and then finding a home in Seed to Source. Each time something was added, a further clarification emerged. My own life was mapping the map.
I came to realise that Essence wasn’t going to go away. Perhaps it just needed tweaks and some editing. It was the theme that has pursued me throughout my life. I would never be done with it but needed to find a way to adapt and shift with it.
After a year of working on Seed to Source, writing content, developing ideas, launching a podcast, I was surprised to find myself at yet another impasse. I didn’t know where to take it any more. I seemed to keep bumping up against the same blocks.
I did think that perhaps I needed to press pause indefinitely. Perhaps I’d gone as far as I could.
I found it hard to post on Instagram, one of my favourite things. I had run out of things to say. Yes, the well might have run dry too but that’s a topic for another day.
I’d lost my thread in my Facebook group, and the proposed eKit garnered no interest.
Around the same time our house sale and purchase fell through. Both on the same day. And at the Solstice, a time of regrouping, reviewing and new beginnings. I saw it as symbolic of the need for a different direction. In the end, neither of us regretted the lost house purchase. It had been a nice idea but as new options landed on the table, a whole brighter future opened up for us.
Perhaps it was this moment of reset that created the shift I needed. Maybe it was a weight lifting as I contemplated a more appealing future. Whatever it was, something changed.
The week after the Solstice, I spoke to a man who specialises in shamanic healing. He took me on a journey back to my childhood, to when I was three. It all made sense and explained a lot. He showed me the burden I had been carrying all my life. I’m still letting this understanding percolate and it’s going to be the subject of a post all on its own. But it demonstrated why my relationship with my Mum had always been so difficult and why believing in my own self-worth had been a lifelong challenge.
Perhaps this conversation shifted something too. I decided to change the colour scheme on my website. Back to my favourite, pink. I thought that was enough.
Over the next few days, I started re-reading old blog posts and kept coming across a phrase which jumped out at me – a gentler pace. It took me back to the reason I started Seed to Source. To live a different lifestyle. To work on my own terms. To leave the rat race. To spend time outdoors. To live a meaningful life. To help others in some way.
I’d lost touch with the entire original rationale for leaving my day job. I’d recreated the whole relentless work ethic, just in another format.
So, I checked to see if @agentlerpace might be available – it was. Everywhere. What about the domain name? Yes, that was available too. Within a couple of days, I’d claimed the username and bought the domain name, migrated my website across and redirected Seed to Source there. I even found that the hashtag had never been used. Meant to be? Maybe.
It feels as if I’ve opened up a door in that brick wall that I was bumping up against. Perhaps we don’t have to find a way round, just through.
I’ve thought about what I truly value and what I always wanted to do. A lot of that was around writing. I love writing. I love journaling. I don’t profess to be the best writer in the world but I love the process.
I remember coming across the wonderful Helen Redfern some time last year, and thinking, this is what I want to do. And, then I wandered off in other directions. And now I’m back where I started.
Writing. Podcasting. Photography.
I’ll still be talking about all the themes underpinning Seed to Source. But living at a gentler pace seems to make so much more sense to everyone. It also encompasses everything I believe.
Living at a gentler pace is where we find ourselves again, reconnect with nature, take time to be joyful and hear the whisper of our inner voice.
Perhaps you would like to join me on the next leg of this journey.